A) The 3rd reason I don't want to see you is that you've just committed a crime. You're looking for a hideout and figure NOBODY's going to guess that you stopped to get a massage before heading out on the lam. I know for a fact that you won't be able to relax, and if you can, then there is something seriously wrong with you! Since I hate when people knock on the front door while I'm in a massage, I'm surely going to be annoyed by the police's persistant banging on the front door, so I'll surely lose my mojo. Lastly, you better not share the details of your crime with me, because while I follow the rule of "What happens in the massage room, stays in the massage room", I most certainly draw the line at criminal activity!
B) The 2nd reason I don't want to see you, is after you've made an extended pitstop at the BackStreet Bar down the road or are coming to see me after any occasion where you may have imbibed a wee bit too much, or are heavily under the influence of any drug whether prescribed or illegal. If you're slurring, if you're stumbling and are extremely obnoxious, I do NOT want to see your smiling, happy, I'm sure, extremely loving face. :) I don't care if your intoxication reveals to you how much I mean to you, I don't care if you are really, really sorry. You will have forgotten all your words to me in the morning, so do not come to see me when you are "To' up from the flo' up" a/k/a/ inebriated.
C) I saved the best...or the worst...for last.
The top #1 reason why I don't want to see you is if you're sick. Please, please, PLEASE do not come in for a massage if you're coming down with or experiencing a full blown illness. While you might think getting a massage will help your miserable body feel better ( I would, too), there's actually a good chance you're going to feel worse later on in the day. Massage pushes everything around in the body, so while you may have started to feel better before coming in, you might start to feel the effects of your illness all over again, and who wants that!?
That is how getting a massage will affect YOU if you're ill. On another hand massaging you while you're ill, may make ME ill.
I tend to have a good immune system, thank God. Still, every year viruses change so there's a good chance I haven't had my tiny, immune building exposure to it yet. When you come in sick and spend an hour or two with me in an enclosed room, with me touching your hands, your face, your body, there's a good chance I'll pick up your cold or flu virus. This unfortunately means, at some point in the near future, I'll have to call my clients and cancel their appointments because I'm sick and don't want to share. I really hate having to cancel on my clients, as they plan ahead and really look forward to their massages. I also subject my family to....my miserable self. I'm not a happy sick person. I become a whiny baby, and want to be taken care of. Besides that, if they get sick, then aside from them missing school and work, they want to be taken care of too, and at this point, I cannot afford a home care nurse for us.
So, you see, while I totally understand you not wanting to miss your appointment because you're sick, and feel bad about cancelling on me at the last minute, a little bad feeling now is better than a whole lotta bad feeling later. So being sick, is the only time when my 24 hour cancellation policy is null and void. That being said, please call if you are cancelling within 24 hours of your appointment. You can always leave a message even after hours.
I hope you caught my wacky sense of humor in all this, and you can appreciate my blog post.
If you're sick and at home reading this, I sincerely hope you feel better, and can't wait to...
See ya on the flip side!
Ellen Rivera Catalan
The "Barefoot Contessa of Ashiatsu" Massage in Cape Coral